Songs, sense, sirens, struggle & starry solace ....

Wednesday 20th June

Today could have been one of those days.....   But I decided from the minute that I woke up that I would not stay in that 'I want to stay in my pyjamas' mood...  I peeled & cut up some apple and banana for Elina's breakfast & sat with her singing & dancing at the table (I know, how naughty am I to sing at the table ha ha)...

After dropping Elina at the crèche I went 'round to a mates to collect his rent...  2hours, a cup of tea, a cup of coffee and a great conversation later I'm feeling even stronger....   We always have intriguing chats, but this time he really started opening up about himself even more than usual, and I find myself having a really open conversation...  Is it really that difficult to be open & honest about the way we're feeling ?  I think a lot of barriers and worries we have about ourselves and others views of us are actually built by ourselves.....

Thomas wasn't feeling on top of the world today either, so once we'd had a spot of lunch I suggest a walk in the sunshine (after the down pours of this morning)....  We head to a lake for a change (I need the water), and have a refreshing stroll....   We can hear an alarm from one of the factories nearby and it sounds exactly like the noise at the end of the ghost train, which accompanied the bat that used to fly down and spray water at you, that used to be at Fort Regent....

We can't be in 2 places at the same time, and unfortunately I am going to miss something that I really do not want to miss...  I see that more & more people who I would like to see are going to be there and feel that familiar pang of jealousy....   But, I take the time to sit back and say to myself that everything happens for a reason, and that if I can not be there then the reason is out there somewhere....   The burning, stifling, smothering feeling subsides and I realise that I am getting somewhere :)

A message out of the blue reminds me how lucky I am to have my fairy princess....   A very special person who I have never met but who was there through my 2 miscariages....   Her journey to motherhood is an ongoing one, but one that is looking more and more positive and having some unlifting results....   I am sending her heaps of positive vibes and a truck load of that oh so special fairy dust that helped me have my Elina.....   And hope that she will look up and see her own shooting star *~

Provisions, piggy & play den

Tuesday 19th June

 I didn't do any shopping last week as we were spending it as  residents at the Atelier thus our cupboards and fridge are empty !!!....   I put Elina down for a nap and head down the valley to do some essential food shopping...  Sometimes it's a chore, but today it felt pretty liberating wandering 'round the isles and picking up this and that...  even though it is less fun when you're on a budget ....

After a month or so of Elina not being keen on food, she has soooo got her appetite back...  Lunch was chicken or ham & goats cheese wraps and she seems to LOVE it....   I'm relieved and happy that she's back into tasting and liking pretty much EVERYTHING.....

The plan was to get stuck into the house work after lunch, but as I took the duvet off the sofa Elina lies down on it and I roll her into a sausage....  this turns into hours of fun making the duvet into a play den and just playing like a child myself...  Heaps of laughter, cuddles and just plain enjoyment....   I just love her soooooo much .....

Lie-in, lunch, bruises....

Monday 18th June

The days starts with a lovely lie-in 'til 10.30am - Wow, thanks Elina ...

A spot of lunch and a good old natter with a friend...  Must be something in the water, or maybe to do with being in our 30's, as it seems that lots of friends and people around me are asking themselves the same questions, and searching...

As I get home I turn on the computer and the first thing I see as I sign in to my FB is this quote which makes me smile...  Isn't it funny sometimes how we fall upon quotes, or a book or a saying just after having discussed it .....

My bruise is looking pretty unattractive and damn big today...  It looks like someone has been beating my thigh with a baseball bat...  guess I should try and play the tamborine a bit softer lol ....

happy blues & loooong siesta .....

Sunday 17th June

We pick Elina up from her sleep over at Mymie's...  Her face lights up as we walk through the door....  She rushes 'round the lounge picking up one toy after the other to show us, before coming for a big cuddle & kiss, then heads to the door saying goodbye, and pulling me by the hand....

The blues kick in...  Our group coaching is over....  I miss the guys, although have no voice left after last night's concert...  people put some lovely comments and messages on facebook, some sent texts just to let us know how much they enjoyed the concert etc etc...  I'm happy they took the time to tell us what they thought & to thank us....  Some people don't realise how much that actually means to me ....

We spend the afternoon chilling, and have a massive 2 & 1/2 hour sieste....  that feels soooooooooo good, and we soooo needed it.....

D-Day, smiles, release & music

Saturday 16th June

What a stressful morning....  Running around making sure we had everything we needed for tonight's concert...  picked up Jade, Vinz & Kevin,  dropped Elina at Mymie's and as we get into the car to head to the Atelier Elina runs up to give us big kisses and cuddles, then goes over to Mymie and waves us bye bye with a huge smile...

Our first run through of the morning is a bit of a catastrophe for me....  I don't know why, but my speaker wasn't right and I just couldn't sing properly with it...  I can feel the stress building & building, with a big lump in my throat blocking any voice from coming out...  I walk off the stage and sit in the bathroom for 2 minutes and let the tears roll....   I feel instantly relieved, get back onto the stage and we manage to sort the speaker out phew !....

The boys decide to shave off their beards and leave only their moustache for the concert....  hmmmmm, not a good look, but oh so funny....

We stand hidden in the curtains at the side of the stage waiting to walk on one by one....  We take a peep to see if there are many people in the audience.....   Feels like I'm back at primary school, about to perform our end of year or Christmas play....

The concert starts and it's and explosion of lights, dance, music and energy from start to finish for an hour...  It felt like we'd only been playing 15mins...   Time flies when you're having fun...

Joy, lights & deliverance

Friday 15th June

Elina woke up full of beans this morning....   We had an hour to get ready and drop her to Mymie's for the day whilst we continue our last few days of group coaching...   A lovely no fuss breakfast, and ready to go with no hitches...  I love it when everything runs so smoothly....  We even got to the Atelier early for once ...

The guy doing the lights for our big concert tomorrow night asked if we had any ideas of the sort of lighting we wanted for the show....    How funny is it when you try and explain the ideas in your head without having any idea of the technical language used....    And I wasn't the only one...

We got the slip back from the post to let us know that the letter had been recieved....   A moment of closure for Thomas, and a big relief for the both of us...  the pressure dropping...

Somfy, singing & sunburn

 Thursday 14th June

Just before lunch we we asked to go and play a gig for one of the companies who sponsor Music en Stock....   After all the rain of the last few days, the sun was out and blazing....   As we were playing outside the weather really was on our side...

Yesterday we decided to change our play list, and take out one of our songs "l'oignon", but it's one that always seems to work well when done in accoustic and amongst the crowd....   We had the employees clapping in their hands and singing the chorus with us....  Am sure they had the song wizzing 'round their heads and their offices all afternoon haha ...

Home, tired, Elina in bed....  The outline of my top had been traced by the sun, and I must admit, I'm feeling a slight heat on my shoulders...  The fatigue and mini sunburn actually feel good - the result of a days hard work singing, dancing & playing music :) ...

Music, adieu and easy meal ...

Wednesday 13th June

 

For the last couple of years a cultural centre over here that holds concerts etc (the Atelier), has chosen different groups to be followed, coached, and prepared for the biggest free festival in the Rhone alps.  This year we are really lucky as our group the "Rage Against the Marmottes" was chosen....   Today is the first of our last few days to enjoy this experience, get ready for the concert on Saturday & then Music on Stock !!  We got up nice and early this morning with that buzzy feeling of excitement despite not getting much sleep....

I took Amy to the train station at lunchtime so she could continue her travels...  I was sad to say goodbye, but also ready glad to have been able to spend the last few days chilling, chatting and just being together....   We won't leave it so long next time :) ....

I didn't have the energy to make anything for diner when we got home, but sometimes it feels good just to bung something frozen in the oven.....  Tonight it was Salmon & Spinach feuilleté ....

Magic kisses, odours and pyjamas...

Tuesday 12th June

Woke up feeling pretty yeugh....  Think I must have caught some sort of tummy bug, cramps and all round not good....   Elina seems to sense that I'm not feeling great and comes to give some me some lovely cuddles and magic kisses to make me feel better...

We decided to go to a restaurant anyway, one we've been to a few times and always have scrummy food....   I really like this restaurant, when you walk in it smells like my Grandma & Grandad's house in Jersey...

The drive back home after lunch seemed really long with stomach cramps and feeling generally not well...   I felt relieved when we got home, got our pyjamas on & put on a good film, even though I went to bed half way through....

Annecy, raindrop dodging & goodies ....

Monday 11th June
Thomas took Elina to the crèche and Amy and I headed to Annecy for a girlies shopping day...  I haven't had a whole day shopping just for me since i don't know how long...  Amy kept making me try on loads of stuff that I'd never usually think of trying on, and most of it looked ridiculous, but made us laugh...   And for once, I actually found a few tops, and a pair of jeans - RESULT haha ....

Our day was framed with real down pours of rain, but we were really damn lucky...  It was raining whilst we were driving to get there, stopped when we arrived & walked 'round the old part of Annecy...  The heavens opened pretty much the minute we sat down for lunch (outside, but sheltered), and the sun put it's hat on and pushed the clouds away for some blue skys after lunch....   We'd just got into the car and driven out of the underground carpark when the huge black clouds rolled back in and torrential rain battered the car windscreen...


Amy is a bit finger happy taking photos left right and centre with her phone - and I love the pics and effects she gets on them straight away, they look like postcards, or olds photos...  She got a nice one of the huge cookie I got to tide myself over 'til lunch, and of an oversized pain au chocolat that she regretted not getting once we'd left....    Not to mention all the meringues and other delicious goodies in the boulangerie window (that look yummy, but that I don't like, luckily enough for my waistline ^_^) .......

No hangover, no snakes, no map....

Sunday 10th June

Woke up with NO hangover, after a really good night's sleep woo hoo ...  Even though it was an early wake up call at 7am with Elina singing :) ...  Sat and watched the jungle book with Elina whilst Jade & Amy were still in the land of nod...

Managed to persuade ourselves to get out into the fresh air even though we were all pretty tired...  Took Elina's bike and walked 'round the Lac de Passy...  Re-discovered the hilarious notice stating that no snakes allowed - can you actually imagine anyone bringing their snake to the lake with them for a walk ?  Or a swim maybe haha...

Do we ever really know if and when we're on the right path in life ?  Surely the most important thing is to be on a path that is going somewhere...  Then to have the courage when you get to that T junction to chose left or right, or to that cliff edge and be able to jump knowing that things will turn out okay, and that destiny will lead the way ......   It's funny how we have been contemplating the same things at the same time, even after being away from each other for so long and leading different lives...

Ding dong, fajitas and long chats...

Saturday 9th June

The church bells didn't do their long wake up call until 8am this morning (the church is pretty much opposite our appartment) ...  And Elina didn't wake up until 8.15am, I could hear her chatting away to her teddy bears...  I wonder what stories she was telling them..

We went to do a bit of shopping in Sallanches for a few veggies and bits and bobs - and wine...  I feel really lucky to be able to park in a carpark with views of Mont Blanc and her mountain range...

An afternoon stroll through the forest, to a clearing which leads to a cliff where we can see a bird's eye view of the valley...  The winding river, bridges, houses, roads lakes and fields remind me of the picture on a rug one of my friends used to have in his van...  Made me giggle...

The boys out, Jade at a dance gala, Elina in bed, Amy & I sit down for some yummy veggie fajitas, scrumptious guacamole, a bottle of wine each and a wicked evening of catching up...   Has it really been 7 years ?....   No subjects are taboo...  Feels great to laugh & listen...   Don't think I've even spoken English during a whole evening for a long time ha ha...

A friend to stay, music & shepherd's delight...

Friday 8th June

A friend I hadn't seen for a very long time (7years !!) has come to stay :) ...  It's so lovely to just slip back to normal conversations as if we'd never been appart..  I guess some friendships will always be like that...

Tonights gig went pretty well...   Had been trying to find new ways of singing the chorus' etc without Aurel' as she wasn't going to be able to come, but whan I arrived to do the sound check she was there :)  Ours voices are richer together than alone...   I pulled off the vocalisations I usually only manage (or have the courage) to do in the car, and at home with Elina...  They just worked, even the really high ones yay ....

The sunset was a rich red this evening...  The sky had been prettily decorated, a welcome present for my friend ?...  Hopefully the sun will be out in the morning...

Pollination, purée & pensées

Thursday 7th June

We decided to head to a private lake not far from us this afternoon, for a walk..  the heat was hot & prickly, felt like a storm may be brewing...  Elina was super excited and stopped every 2 seconds to pick up a stone "caillou", and throw it back down on the floor, or in the water...  Cumba was being her usual mental self running and swimming for the ball...   As I stood watching the 2 of them it started snowing dandelion seeds...

I made chick pea purée which we ate on toast this evening Yum yum :)  This time I didn't put in too much garlic and added a bit of liquid cream along with the olive oil & lemon...   I love it when I copy a recipe and then change it and adapt it to my own tastes and style -  Especially when it works ^_^

There is nothing cowardly about saying "no, stop this is not the road I want to be taking", it doesn't mean you've given up...  Sometimes if something isn't working as you want it to be it's better to walk away than to just keep going for the sake of it...  As long as you've given it your best shot, there's no need to feel ashamed...  I had realised this a while back, and today it seems that 2 people very dear to me had  been mulling over the exact same thing & have been strong enough to make the decision & the change they needed ....   It's good to feel on the same wave length....

Cats and Dogs, dancing clouds and retrouvailles...

Wednesday 6th June

It was pouring it down this morning, which made me think, wow it's raining cat's and dogs...   What a strange expression really...   I spent a few minutes looking up into the sky which was thick with rain, and imagining cats and dogs actually falling out of the sky, tiny miniature cats and dogs ...   I prefer that image than the French version il pleut comme vache qui pisse ( hmmmm a massive weeing cow ) .....

The rain lifted just after lunch but the clouds came down really low ( at the top of the mountain, opposite my window )..  They started thinning out & seemed to be almost clinging to the trees as the wind coaxed them away.  It was like a form of dance, a sensual moment of exchanging caresses.  I could almost hear the music to go with it in my head...
I wondered whether it was the trees or the clouds who didn't want to let go ? ...

Cumba waits outside when I go to pick up Elina from the crèche...   I love, love, love Elina's shriek of excitement everytime she comes out the door and sees Cumba by the gate..  Then Cumba's funny noises and tail that wags wildly as she runs circles 'round Elina...   Pure delight after a day appart .... 

Starting somewhere - the beginning

Okay, I'm trying to get the knack of how this blog thing works...
It's not as easy as it looks, but hey, I'm giving it a go :)
My page looks a bit too busy and hard to read, but I'll get to grips with it soon..

Have been wanting to start this gratitude blog since my friend inspired me with hers, so I've got to start somewhere...

So here it is, my blog  ^_^
Enjoy x